And wait, there is another important take-away: My MBTI personality profile which I recently tested as part of my coaching diploma, told me that looming deadlines energize these perceiving “P” personalities like me, enabling them to achieve glorious things in short time and on time. Or in other words:

I don’t do shit without a kick in the butt.

This might not be news for anyone but myself. Still it’s so relieving as I finally can officially wear the procrastinator badge now. Yey!!

from: blurburger.com

But then I figured – writing a book might not be the perfect match for a procrastinator. So as a little service to all of you readers who might be part of our little circle of deadline-junkies I have compiled a short but effective list of strategies and little helpers that usually get me writing.

1. Talk First – Think Later

Start by putting your plans out there, telling hubby/friends/agent/the blogosphere about your plans of what to achieve in which amount of time (little tip: the more wine intake beforehand, the more ambitious the goal). Strategic background: Letting yourself down? Easy. But losing face with lame excuses in front of good friends/hubby/agent/blogosphere? Eeek!

2. Book a Long-haul Flight

And economy, that is. You wouldn’t believe the focusing effect of being strapped into a seat with nowhere else to go, “Leap Year” as in-flight entertainment and 8000 miles to go to Auckland…. 25% of my first manuscript were written on flights. If you have no flight at hand, try to get yourself into another state of artificial sense-deprivation (floating tank, log cabin, unpaid internet bill). Just don’t forget to bring pen and paper.

3. Get Feedback

Working on your own on a long-term project is quite daunting, especially when it is only you and your whispering writer’s doubts there, telling you you’re not original, no good in characterization, no writer. Get your trusted readers involved and feel the motivational power of somebody who actually cares enough to give feedback on your work. And asks for more (see step one).

4. Psychological Torture

Write or die – this lovely little tool (recommended by Charlene – thanks so much!) will get even the toughest procrastinator going, with evil punishments in case you don’t fulfill your writing goals. Sweet.

Write or die by drwicked

… but wait a minute, I hear you say – why do we keep talking about writing, the supposed number one passion, as a burden, here? What is this woman whining about? Isn’t it supposed to be all about fun and self expression?

It definitely is. But truth be told – I found it starts to become a different ball-game as soon as creative writing becomes your profession and a possible career. Yes, it is still fun. Yes, it is so much more satisfying and rewarding than a day in the office. But yes, all the other stuff, like the rejection, the need to balance your ideas with those of the market, the deadlines, the days where you just don’t feel like it – they come with the package. And it  is a challenge to transfer the “writing passion” to a “writing profession”. And this is why I need a bit of whip-cracking sometimes …

So what about you dear readers, if anybody of you is still out there? How do you prod yourself into activity? Any tips for me?

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As you can see, that worked really well. But being a master at making exceptions to my own rules I’ve got a great excuse prepared: Vanity.

Hell, yes Al, it definitely is my favourite sin, too!

And so when my dear and most entertaining blogging friend The Fallen Monkey let me know the other day that she awarded me with the “Going places” badge, I just couldn’t help but feeling flattered. Very. *Blush*

Nothing makes a writer happier than readers – apart from readers who like what they read and speak up about it. So tons of bananas to you, monkey!

The Going Places Award

And wait, there’s more! Every award comes with responsibilities – that’s why I stick to the rules of this award game:

1. Thank those who loved you enough to bestow this gift.

Check.

2. Share seven (7) things about yourself.

Well, well, well ….

a) Writing might be my first love, but music definitely comes in second by only a split-second. Especially everything that sounds whiny/self-pitying/melancholic/depressive/dark. Love it.

b) I used to be a kind of eccentric child. I know, aren’t we all, but listening to operas with 10? Singing along with Don Giovanni from overture to final accord? That’s just plain weird.

c) My first and so far only screenplay has made it into a movie 1998. It was a 9-mins promotional video about producing cheese (if that is not a calling card for Hollywood I don’t know what is!) and to my knowledge is still showing at a cheese dairy close to Salzburg.

d) I love Ireland. Feel at home there for many reasons, all of which I cannot explain. Must be a former life or something.

e) Jim Sheridan defined my life. No joke. After seeing “In the Name of the Father” in the cinema with 17, I first decided to read, then to write about (the manuscript I keep going on about in previous posts), then to live in Ireland (5.5 years), where I ended up living in the Dublin neighbourhood the movie was filmed – by coincidence. Jim Sheridan, if you ever read this: You have touched my heart.

f) I do soundtracks for my manuscripts …

g) My full admiration goes to Gary Larson – that man just knew how to hit the nail on the head. And when to stop his career. Whenever I crave for a dark snigger, I go for his cartoons.

found on ubuntuforums.org

3. Bestow this honor onto 5 newly discovered or followed bloggers–in no particular order–who are fantastic in some way.

So I am changing the rules here, at least a bit. No awards (mainly because I don’t know about the meaning of these names), but mentions of blogs I enjoy and you might want to pay a visit, if you haven’t yet:

a) Get Your Melancholy On – my favourite music snob rummages through his melancholic music archive and brings out sad, dark gems. Every time.

b) Like a bowl of Oranges – hardly a secret, but this blog is so sweet and enthusiastic and plain mad about writing that even die-hard cynics will find it hard to resist

c) Sand and the City – ever wanted to know about how life in crazy, glitzy Dubai is? Find out on this blog from one of the wittiest and warmest people I know

d) Paul Fitzsimons – hyper-productive, witty and modest Dublin writer. His posts are short but very sweet.

e) Here be dragons - another writer’s blog that I am happy to have come across. I love humour in everything I do, so this one was a natural fit.

4. Drop by and let the 5 chosen friends know you love them.

Ivan, Lua, Isabel, Paul, Alannah – I love you!

And I want to thank my mum, too!

Ok… pant… seems I am through the longest post in my blogging history. I see you in September guys! But me being me, that might just mean as much as the “farewell” in The Rolling Stone’s tours …. after all, vanity is still my favourite sin!

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found on showhistory.com

Arriving in Berlin, exhausted by a career in the online industry while writing a book and maintaining a private and social life as well as a facebook page, the direction was clear. Calming down. Setting priorities, focusing on the most important stuff and just relax and do nothing for a while.

And I am quite impressed with myself. It took me six whopping months to pile up enough things to do for myself to force me to re-prioritize again. That’s a personal record so far.

found on lifelearningtoday.com

Nevertheless, let me give you a candid view on my August to-do list:

- Writing a compelling Sales package for my second novel that my agent can carry towards Frankfurt Book Fair (meaning, synopsis and 3 chapters – yey! but I’m not there yet, so I have to get going)
- Seeing great friends off Ireland personally (nay!)
- Partying like crazy to deal with the pain (yey!)
- Welcoming great friends to Berlin as guests (yey!)

- Finally getting a minor surgery done I have been postponing (nay!)
- Working on a major website project that I just bagged myself, while maintaining some regular translation and copy writing jobs of my faithful clients (yey!)
- Three days of Coaching Diploma Course, plus the sessions inbetween (yey!)
- Weekly blog posts (yey!)

Well … with so many yeys on my list and the nay being unavoidable, I guess you can see where this is going. As they like to sugar-coat in management – I had to make tough choices.

Meaning, I won’t be able to be an as active blogger as I would like to be over the next couple of weeks, both when it comes to posting and reading/commenting.

As I grew so accustomed and fond to my own little place and those of my new-found blogger-friends, I sincerely apologize for these irregularities in advance. I will be back with a vengeance as soon as the storm is over and will be as snotty and annoying as ever – promise! Take care until then, my lovelies.

found on typepad.com

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found on www.edwud.com (great pics )

When I started my coaching diploma only four weeks after arriving in Berlin, I was eager to sort out an issue I thought I had with myself: distracting myself from my long term goal (finishing a second fiction manuscript) with short term assignments and engagements (said coaching diploma, setting up my own business as an online copy writer, blogging).

So when I received my first coaching within that course myself, I set myself the goal to narrow down my focus from BCC (Book-Company-Coaching) down to two of these branches by the end of 2010. After becoming rejected with my first manuscript by a bunch of publishers, sending me pretty much back to square one, and while still waiting on communication if I made it onto the short list of a comparatively small literary competition I took part in, I am happy to announce that I have achieved a break-through insight in that matter:

All that is codswallop.

The whole forcing-myself-to-focus thing, I mean. Because yes, short term projects like building my own website or writing a blog post or coaching somebody do take time and keep my bum firmly away from my writer’s seat. These activities are indeed bends on the road towards publishing glory. But pushing the button to release my first own (!) real (!!) website, and seeing a person finding new insights, or just being with my friends is the fuel that keeps me going when the writing gets tough.

found on orangefuel.com

It’s the short-term gains that give me the motivation and energy to keep facing the “long-term pain” of questing to become a published writer. Fact is, I just love my little distractions, and I am not ready to cut off my sanity from that life-line. So in your face, focus! I’m off to meet my friends at the coaching course, now…

What keeps you going, when the path to your long term dream seems to drag longer and longer?  From which sources do you feed your mojo?

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Rejection, found on flickr.com

Today, my lovely and supportive agent has confirmed my building suspicion that the novel I have been working on for five years next to work, that sucked up my life blood sometimes but brought me to life most times, has not found an interested publisher because they found it too hard to place in the market to give it a try. The feedback about my writing was good though and there would be a reasonable chance to publish it when I would be able to sell my second manuscript … oh you mean the manuscript currently 15 pages long? Right.  And there it was …. aaah, the sweet sting of rejection.

Luckily, this didn’t hit me unprepared as I have developed my own little rejection recovery programme over the recent years. In four easy steps it jerks me out of jaws of disappointment back into winner’s mode, let’s you rise out of the ashes like … or something like that.

Step 1: Self-pity, and hard-core!

Screw positive thinking. I mean, really. I don’t wanna think about me being lucky for having a lovely supportive agent, or having received good feedback on my writing, or second chances or long term perspectives and all that “bright side” nonsense. Five years of social withdrawal on weekends and for what? I have been let down by the gods. People don’t get it. I will never make it as a writer. My agent will ditch me. Self-publishing, here I come. Now hand me red wine, a hankie and the early days of Tom McRae, if you please. And by the way – I will NEVER WRITE AGAIN!

Step 2: The Voice of Obsession

After a couple of days I usually re-emerge from my bitter-writers-retreat. Or rather I am coaxed out by that little fecker in me that is totally fine without writing for exactly one day. Now that I think of it, he actually sounds a bit like Mrs. Doyle. Here some demonstration for all those not familiar with Irish culture staples. Just imagine the decision to write being a glass of sherry…

This is as well usually the time when I can bear looking at my work again, and read the published books of others. Empathy and uplifting comments about my shining talent to write and how these publishers will one day kick their own butts are as well accepted in this time. I slowly re-approach writing, mostly in small doses (birthday cards, blog posts).

Step 3: Gritting my Teeth

This is when I figure that maybe this is not a conspiracy after all but the literary version of Isner vs. Mahut in Wimbledon, and I am approaching the end of 2nd set. A long term battle of will and skill. As an unpublished writer who wants to get published, I have to decide if I want to shrink back from the big bad world of publishing and its necessities, or stick it out there in the heat, keep pushing with an unsure outcome. To show them all! Can you do this? Can I do this?! Hand me my notebook, pen and cape, Alfred.

found on biglittlebooks.com

Step 4: Zen

The holy grail. A phase I only reach by writing and writing alone. There is nothing more blissful than being with your characters, observing what they are doing and how they get through their lives although subjected to often unspeakable horrors of their written fate. What are my trials and tribulations against theirs, after all? This is the phase where nothing is about the opinions or restrictions of the publishing world. This is only about writing. How could I even for one second contemplate abandoning them? This is the real thing. The joy of creating. Nothing ever beats that. Oooommmm.

So this is my strategy. Works every time. Until the next rejection, anway. And you get this for free, folks.

But over to you, my dear readers. What are your strategies to overcome the sting of rejection? Anything that I could and should add to my portfolio?

found on flickr.com

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bipolar, found on lotuswork, wordpress

Because although in many regards I am a middle-of-the road person, neither prone to extreme emotions, crazy ideas (apart from jumping out a plane once) or other extravagances, man, even accepting zero-events like Irish summers, I seem to have something about me that directs extremes my way. That not only applies to weather phenomenons but as well to husbands who drive an “all-or-nothing” approach, characters in my books that display a quite extreme  behaviour (like murdering others, eg) and cities that I end up in.

After mildly tempered, easy going Dublin, the last couple of months in Berlin revealed an all different animal to me. Bi-polarism, just like the die hard continental climate, is a way of life. It’s a city where human interaction with total strangers can either end in a fun and super-nice conversation, or in somebody shouting at you for buying a TV, and so far I haven’t found out a way to predict which of the reaction an innocent action/question might provoke. A city which is both a cradle for violent right-wing activities as well as equally fascist left-wing movements that rip German flags from immigrant’s houses.

Berlin is the city where I have seen the biggest agglomeration of fancy people and old timer cars while it has a unemployment rate of over 13.5% (as opposed to 7.5% across Germany). Where you get told off for crossing an empty street at red, and get across a middle aged lady flashing her bra-less breasts to her fellow metro train riders because it’s so hot. And where rampant gentrification is lamented by the very same people who fuel it.

I clearly live in a clear love-hate relationship with extremes. They pluck me out of my comfort zone, because I like my hassle free and harmony-driven life. I still fail to understand them and their many contradictions. But at the same time they attract me, and I want to explore them. Extremes make for interesting stories, and even more interesting characters. Balance is lovely, but as well boring.

So c’mon Berlin, bring it on. I am ready.

berlin extreme found on metal.de

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Is inspiration a spark, quick and unpredictable, a divine spur of the moment? Or is it rather the result of putting enough experiences, impressions and books into your head and then wait for what I call the Writer’s Digestion to set in, churning everything through the blender of reflection and time and wait for it to come out as a good story or …. crap.

found on layoutsparks.com

After I have come to find out that I am one of the slow types, which interestingly enough is pretty much in contradiction to my usual zero tolerance approach to bumming around. I’m not one of those people who could churn out a book about a big topic, like for example 9-11 within a couple of months. What’s more, I find it hard writing something more significant than some blog observations about Berlin yet. It seems I am currently just too busy to experience for inspiration for something bigger to strike yet.

Me, while digesting big topics ...

Inspiration usually works like this: Like a boa contrictor, I take in a whole topic/new experience first, then roll up in a corner, reading about it more, let it sit in my guts for a while, read loads more, and some more, until finally … I have come to my own picture of what I saw and felt and can finally give my thoughts back to the anxiously waiting world….

found on rosssea.info

Right, that’s exactly why you end up writing about Ireland in the 90s in the Noughties, some malicious tongues might say now. That might be very true. True is as well though that I enjoy writing about big whoppers of topics, ambitious and on paper not at all close to my personal quite drama-free life. Big topics, wherever they lurk, to me are the only topics worth writing about. Getting an insight into them and digesting them sometimes need a glacial approach so I can gain a real insight before I start telling stories about them. The whole write about you know approach, but that’s a story for the next post.

But enough of me, dear reader. What about you, writers and otherwise creative people out there – is inspiration for you a divine spark, or rather a boa constrictor? Or maybe both?

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Post 4:1 Celebrations

And who can blame them? Not caring much about the football world I only started to realise how much emotions and crap a game Germany vs. England stirs up. The ever-reliable UK yellow press couldn’t help but swing the good old WWII bat with Hitler-montages on German players, feasting on war-metaphors and martial talk that left the German BILD (so far my main example for great headlines but bad journalism) looking highbrow. German reactions where quite muted on that one (at least officially), watching in bewilderment how the whole past got shoehorned into a football match. Only some tried in their oh-so-german earnestness to tell the blokes in the Daily Star forums to let go of the past and Franz Beckenbauer’s comments, obviously just to be showered in more shite.

Like it would be all 1996 again - Daily Mirror Front Page

Luckily, most of the German fans concentrated on the only real authority when it comes to predicting the outcome of yesterday’s match – Paule, the psychic octopus, had clearly decided that Germany would keep the upper hand in this clash of the emotions… so why bother?

In the end, in a victory of organisation and discipline (damnit, German TV reporter, I am sure some editors of the Daily Star have heard this) the England team were thrashed, ahem, robbed. And I confess, I couldn’t help but snigger with a hint of Schadenfreude there. Am looking forward to what kind of oddities this World Cup season 2010 in Berlin will treat me to in the next game. I hear a special task force of Argentinian Secret Service already has headed for Germany to silence Paul the mollusk….

Pic found on www.dailymail.co.uk

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Found on wexforce.com

Because gentrification is to blame if people with a low income have to move houses because rents rise, if there are cafés opening who offer more than filter coffee, if – Jesus almighty – young couples who want children AND a nice apartment. For people who can afford to drive a BMW. Gentrification – or Gentrifizierung in German, which has this nice whiff of catching a disease – is the new synonym for the devil in Berlin. The favourite club to verbally kill every initiative that is smelling of enriching an area with new aspects. As happened at the beginning of the week, when the co-working space I call my home got accused of fuelling gentrification in Moabit by an irate visitor.

And that made it suddenly clear to me. I am one of “them”. I am a mean gentrifier. I do have an apple computer and I am working on “projects”. No latté, I am sorry, but I might just for spite acquire the taste one day… But hey, at least I am honest about it. I live in Charlottenburg, a part of the city frowned upon as boring and establishment by the very same people who whinge the most about gentrification from their cool Altbau apartment in (please insert whatever is hip right now, it changes too fast for me to keep track). And that’s the main beauty of the whole gentrification discussion. Its irony.

Found on ferretpress.com

Like when, in one and the same article, a journalist of city magazine “Tipp Berlin” proclaims the area of Nord-Neukölln (street fights? check! social problems? check! every week a new restaurant opening? check!) as the hippest thing since the 80’s Lower East Side of New York (no comment on arrogance, there) while later brooding absolutely humour-free over the imminent threat of gentrification of this alternative paradise. Or don’t people who burn cars of their fellow citizens in the name of fighting gentrification just speed up the development of “gated communities”?

So I wonder – if we all are inevitably part of the problem gentrification as soon as we go out into a new restaurant, a hot club or show any kind of entrepreneurial spirit, if gentrification is a more complex and harder problem to solve than with burning torches and philosophic discussions, why don’t we all just relax and stop being hypocritical about it?

Relax, Berlin

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That is, just as long until one of my well-meaning interlocutors, in an effort to show interest, drops a bomb in form of an apparently innocent question.

“Well, so what is your book about?”

found on bostondirtdogs.boston.com

Inevitably, my until then cohesive and clear train of thoughts comes to a screeching halt, my brain turning into some kind of tumbleweed. I start huhing and hahing and then start telling about this guy, who was part of an assassination, but that one was botched, and he spared the designated victim, but the designated victim’s wife died and the reason why he spared him because- This is when hubby, noticing our interlocutor’s eyes glazing over, usually steps in and tells the story in two lines and that was that.

Leaving me behind wondering what it is that makes me so dumbfounded when confronted with what my stories are about. Because it’s not only the first manuscript. It happens now again, with the second manuscript. Even with short stories that I wrote. And they are all no nobel prize candidates that would need extensive interpretation. I even could handle writing a 2-sentence summary of a manuscript of 400 pages, so what’s the big deal doing the same verbally?

Have I lost you yet? No? Then here’s my two possible theories:

Theory I: Creative writing is all about reviewing, at least mine is. So in the constant effort to do justice to the story in a printable way, I get entangled in my internal reviewing process.

Theory II: Sheer apprehensiveness that the story comes across as crap. To me, telling my stories into the face of somebody else still is like undressing in front of their eyes. Putting myself in front of the cold eye of their judgement, may it be directly (rather Germany) or in-directly (rather Ireland) communicated. And I guess that messes up my brain. Less and less, but still everytime.

Yeah yeah, I know, booohooo, the tough life of a writer.

But over to you, dear readers and writers – is talking about your labour of love (written or otherwise) a challenge for you? And if so, what is your survival strategy?

found on flickr.com

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